I know what you might be thinking here. “Alexander, I already know the answer. The person a narcissist can’t beat has to be some kind of therapist or lawyer. It’s got to be the narcissist’s enabler mother.”
You’re wrong in the sense that it’s not a person who plays a particular role in the narcissist’s life.
The person a narcissist can’t beat doesn’t answer to a certain name; they have certain characteristics that allow them to remain unbeaten, unmoved, unbothered by the narcissist.
You’ve come to the right place if you want to know who it is.
1A person who no longer needs the narcissist
Going straight in with it today because there is just so much to cover. I want to let you know that if you no longer need the narcissist, you’re officially the topic of my conversation here today.
Because a narcissist can only run on your supply, any fear, validation, attention, anger, or tears you give them will keep them thriving in their egotistical world.
The problem for them is when it all stops. You are now away from the narcissist, which means any supply you did give them has now ceased, too.
Remember, any supply you give the narcissist is fuel, whether it’s good or bad.
You can cry, and the narcissist will love it. You can scream, and the narcissist smirks. You can beg them to talk to you, and they will feel so good knowing they have that much control over you.
When the fuel runs out, the narcissist, as if they were an actual car, will stall mid-whatever they’re doing, and will not be able to function in a way they did while you were around them providing that for them.
A client I once had told me that the only time she ever truly felt powerful was the day she decided she could live without her narcissistic husband. I mean, that is some self-realization right there.
See also9 Things That Haunt a Narcissist For The Rest Of Their Lives After You Leave Them
2The narcissist will never be able to crack a person who can live fine without them
Imagine trying to beat someone who couldn’t care less if you were in their life or not? That’s got to feel good, but also it’s got to be so empowering for you, too.
A person like this just cannot be cracked by the narcissist due to the fact that, well, what’s there to even crack?! It’s brilliant!
These people don’t sit the narcissist down and give them a breakdown of everything that’s wrong with them, they just move on and forget this person even exists.
There’s genuinely no playbook for this, and the narcissist is stuck between knowing they can’t win you back and needing to find their next source of supply.
See also5 Creepy Things Every Narcissist Hides Somewhere in Their House
Every time they’ve ever pulled a move on you in the past, the narcissist has claimed that you’re too sensitive, or given you the silent treatment. They’ve made you feel guilty, or they’ve blown so hot and cold you don’t even know how you feel.
These toxic tactics only work if you’re invested, if you’re not, there’s no game.
You can’t play with someone who refuses to roll the dice, right? That’s the point this becomes fatal for the narcissist’s ego, as they try hard to figure out their next step.
Sadly, it won’t be to win, because you’ve already won!
3Let’s look at this in real life
Let’s take your life, for example. Yes you, reading this right now.
You’re dealing with a narcissist, and you know all about toxic behavior. You’ve heard the lines, “Nobody else would want you,” “Nobody else would care about you,” “Nobody else would find you remotely attractive.”
A person who needs love and admiration will find those comments very upsetting. A person who is dangerous to the narcissist would raise their eyebrow suspiciously before moving on with whatever they were doing.
See alsoWhy Narcissists Hate Boundaries From Their Children
Dangerous people don’t flinch every time a narcissist tries to pull a trick on them. They’re steadfast; certain in their own persona.
In response, the narcissist will rage and yell, threaten and push harder for a reaction.
Giving nothing means you get the upper hand, and I wonder how many of you have been in that situation in the past?
Not giving the narcissist the storm means you are showing them you don’t care.
Can you think of a time this was you? Can you remember how good it felt?
You didn’t realize it then, but you flicked a switch on for you, and left the narcissist in total darkness.
There’s no way they could beat that.
The narcissist feels it because they know how real it feels to be ignored and dismissed, after all, that’s why they use those same techniques on you.
4Terrifying? Yes! Here’s why
Imagine having the kind of full-time job that requires you to spend all your energy managing how other people feel about you, and what they see when they look at you.
It’s the kind of job that nobody wants, yet a narcissist signs themselves up to this, knowing it comes with the ability to keep everyone just that little bit off balance. Nobody is allowed to feel too settled in their presence, and nobody is permitted to be too independent, either (a narcissist has to be needed).
If you’re someone who doesn’t work well with these kinds of people, you’ll naturally not need their approval. You won’t care about how valuable you are to them, or need to validate them every other day of your life.
By default, you’re blowing the narcissist’s entire game into a million pieces.
See alsoThese 5 Family Backgrounds Create Narcissists. Never Marry Into One
You hold onto your memory like it’s more valuable than gold, and for that reason the narcissist is never going to be able to gaslight you.
You defeated them. Just by doing these few things, you show the narcissist they’ve got nothing else to offer you in order to keep you in check.
To be that disinterested in the push and pull, hot and cold dynamic of narcissistic abuse means you are not entertained by the thoughts or actions of someone who clearly is only in your life to try to gain something from you.
It won’t work.
They can’t beat you.
It’s incredible how threatening you can feel to someone with such a high ego. They’re not going to show you that they’re threatened though.
5It matters to you because of this
See alsoTHIS is What Makes Narcissists
Just because I am telling you that you’re dangerous to a narcissist does not mean you’re dangerous.
You have feelings. You got to the level of, “I choose myself. I prioritize myself. I am going to be consistent in both of those.”
I know how hard it can be when you’re faced with someone so intent on destroying you, but once you get to the point where you can stand up, walk away, defend yourself with dignified silence, and no longer choose to tolerate the narcissist; you’ve won.
Most people think in order to not be beaten, you have to start a war, and battle until you can reclaim yourself, but this is simply not the case.
Be patient, allow time to pass and your confidence to build, and you will awaken.
