You were certainly not what the narcissists had in mind when they first spotted you. They thought they hit that jackpot, but in truth, they were really dealing with a super empath.
And here's the thing they didn't count on. Super empaths don't just feel deeply, they see clearly too. That combination? It's the one thing narcissists cannot outmaneuver.
You were warm, you gave everything you had, and you made yourself as emotionally available as you could. Some might say that's a little old fashioned, but your heart was all in. If you have these traits, you are feared by the narcissist because you are that super empath.
1 Super empaths: the full lowdown
Let's look into super empaths with a little more detail, because I want you to really see just how much you probably fit this bill. If you didn't, you wouldn't need to be here. First of all, they have big hearts that try to accommodate all the people they love.
They want to help, listen, and they feel all the pain others feel just by being near them and listening to their worries.
I had a client describe it to me perfectly. She said, "Alexander, I can feel the lie before they've even finished the sentence." That's the super empath in a nutshell, isn't it?
They're good people, but they also display this gift whereby they see through everyone. This is to the point where others have no idea what's going on, and miss so much.
The super empath misses nothing. If a narcissist comes anywhere near the super empath, there is going to be a clash of traits so contrasting, it will be like night and day, hot and cold, north and south.
Narcissists run their lives on manipulation as fuel, and this is the one thing the super empath can sniff out from a mile away. You can see why the super empath is feared by every narcissist.
2 Before anyone speaks, they've read the entire room
You are the super empath. You've walked into a room where you don't know anybody, and within a few seconds, before anyone's even spoken, you've scanned and read the entire room. You're not judging them; you're surveying the dynamics.
Who's who, where the good energy is, and where the darker, toxic people are forming their next strategy. If there is an off feeling in the air, you're the first one to pick up on it, and you can usually trail it back to where it originated from.
You're the narcissist's worst enemy, and all because you possess the kind of superpower they will never be able to match.
I had a client once tell me she could smell a narcissist across a crowded bar. She was right every single time. Her instincts were sharper than any radar.
Worse than that, you're the type of person the narcissist fears. They rely on people not noticing or paying attention. They like to be around people who 'don't really know,' because then they can manipulate as much of the situation as they can.
With you, the super empath, you've clocked what's occurring before the narcissist has even had the chance to swan over to you and work their best charm. Your ability terrifies them.
3 They're familiar with gaslighting and how it feels
Second up, we have just how familiar the super empath is with gaslighting.
How it feels to be pushed away from what they see as reality and into the narrative of someone toxic is something the super empath never really gets to feel due to how sure of themselves they are. "That never happened. I don't know what you're talking about.
I think you're being a little too unreasonable here. I'm sensing a lot of sensitivity coming from you."
A client told me her ex used to say, "You're imagining things, you always do this." She'd nod, walk away, and write it all down in her notes app. Smart, right?
You're not remembering it efficiently. A super empath has heard it all a million times before, but they trust that feeling it gave them. They trust their gut and listen to their intuition. For that reason, they've got so much determination to see through every last trick the narcissist pulls.
See also 5 Creepy Things Every Narcissist Hides Somewhere in Their HouseIf you can hold your own regardless of how much the narcissist is trying to push back, I can guarantee the narcissist will lose you eventually, and that will be a tool they fear slipping away and never coming back. I say let them panic.
4 Breaking boundaries? Forget it!
Narcissists are toxically good at quite a bit, but if there's one thing nobody can beat them on, it's the art of breaking boundaries. They will see your limits and tolerations as mere fun challenges to wear down, and that's where a super empath comes out winning every single time.
While other people's boundaries are being chipped away, a narcissist will try the same on a super empath, only to be let down repeatedly. If you're wondering if a narcissist will try to guilt them into complying or letting down their moral guard, you'll be correct.
The difference is, it won't wash with the super empath.
I had a client tell me her ex used to say, "After everything I've done for you, you can't do this one thing?" She used to fold. Then one day, she just didn't. Silence on her end. Panic on his.
They will hold firm on their ideas over surrendering them for anybody; they will never be told what to do or how to act.
And I want to make it clear, a super empath isn't cold in their determination to hold their boundaries, they just know what happens through experience when they let go of them.
They thought they'd try to compromise, but ended up being taken full advantage of by the narcissist who kept taking and taking without giving anything in return.
They don't want to return to that place, and so they hold, in turn disarming the narcissist who then fears the super empath (not that they'll admit this). Being quiet and unshakable is far more damaging to a narcissist than constant noise.
5 They deflect guilt that was never theirs to begin with
I don't want to hold onto your guilt, thank you very much. Spoken like a true super empath; none of them accept the guilt that the narcissist tries to hand them daily.
A client once told me she started saying, "That sounds like a you problem," whenever he tried the guilt trip. He stopped mid sentence, every single time. Try it.
It doesn't belong to them, so why should they? All those cries of, "Look what you made me do," and, "If you hadn't done that, I'd have never…", go over their heads.
Returning what was never yours to carry is a strength the super empath is proud to possess, and in doing this alone, you shut down many aspects of narcissistic abuse.
6 Without any effort, they mirror back
Seeing as narcissists love people showing them how brilliant they are, a super empath will mirror back how the narcissist acts to them in order for them to show something real.
I had a client do this without even realizing it. She just started copying his tone back at him, and he asked her, "Why are you being so cold?" Oh, the irony.
Reflecting truth instead of an ideal image makes the narcissist so uncomfortable, and this is not a game they play. It's more to do with not taking any crap from a person who is abusive, and wanting them to sit in that reality rather than continuing to believe the performance.
A power move I think you'll all agree will put every fear into the narcissist!
7 Coming back stronger after their recovery
The biggest one saved 'til last is that all narcissists want the abuse they poured on every victim to stick forever. They want damage to not only stick, but also last. It's their dream to have you stay down all those times they pushed you, mentally or physically, down.
Many do, believe me.
I had a client message me two years after leaving hers. She said, "Alexander, I'm not just okay. I'm actually happier than I've ever been." That's the super empath in action.
Many never get up because they don't know that they can. It runs so deep that it feels impossible to overcome, but a super empath sees it differently, and lives knowing that they will not only recover, but come back stronger after narcissistic abuse.
All they've seen and experienced reverts to a fuel that lights them up and keeps their fire of empowerment burning. Watch the narcissist run for the hills in fear…
8 They See The Pattern Before It Even Starts
You know that little internal ping? The one that goes off before the narcissist even makes their move?
Super empaths have that on full volume.
They notice the pause before the compliment. The way a story keeps changing shape depending on who's listening. The overly warm hello that doesn't quite match the eyes. And they clock it, quietly, without making a scene.
I've had clients tell me, "Alexander, I knew within twenty minutes. I just didn't want to believe myself." That right there is the super empath instinct kicking in early.
Because they've been through it before, haven't they? Their nervous system has done the homework. They recognize the shape of the trap before the trap is even set. The love bombing feels rehearsed. The interest feels too quick. The compliments feel a bit... researched.
And the narcissist hates this. Truly hates it. Their entire opening act depends on you not seeing it. When you're already three steps ahead, the whole script falls flat before it even begins.
That's terrifying for them.
9 Charm? Doesn't Work On Them
You know that syrupy, over the top charm narcissists lay on thick when they meet somebody new? The compliments, the intense eye contact, the "I've never met anyone like you" nonsense?
A super empath sees right through it. Instantly.
See also THIS is What Makes NarcissistsWhile everyone else is falling for the sweet talk and thinking, "Wow, they're amazing," you're standing there thinking, "Hmm. Why so much, so soon?"
And that right there is what makes the narcissist nervous. Their charm is their entry ticket. It's how they get in the door, how they lower your defenses, how they set the trap. If it doesn't work on you, they've got nothing.
I've had clients tell me, "I could feel it was fake, but I couldn't explain why." That's the empath radar doing its job. You pick up on the mismatch between the words and the energy behind them.
Something is off, and you feel it in your gut before your brain catches up.
And when charm fails? The narcissist is left standing there, exposed, wondering what on earth just happened.
