Watching the narcissist feels as though you're watching a ticking time bomb. At some point or another, they will explode, and you will see them destroyed. Believe it or not, that can come from seven weaknesses they have.
These weaknesses are easily tapped into, if you could just learn what triggers them into action. For them, with these, it's game over. If that's what you came here for, then pull up a chair, because it's about to get very interesting.
I've had clients sit across from me, half broken, asking if the narcissist ever pays for what they've done. My answer is always the same. Yes. Eventually.
1 They will always need you to validate them
Validation, validation validation. Everywhere you look, there's someone who is needed by the narcissist to make them feel good about themselves, and to show them how amazing they are. They need compliments, admiration, affection.
They need people to say, "You're right." "I trust you." "You're the best." "You're always so confident all the time."
Validation is a little bit like a tap, if it isn't pouring, it's dry. Narcissists want it on and flowing, all the time so they can boost their ego, and if it stops, they will panic almost immediately. How they keep that flowing is by always performing, and pushing people.
It's as if they're fishing, and the line is constantly in the water with some of the best bait around, waiting for you to jump on it and catch a bite. Listen out for vomit-inducing phrases, such as:
I don't know what the entire office would do without me. Nobody else would've been able to handle that like I did. You're lucky to have me. People beg for someone like me. My kid did so well in his exam because I taught him everything he knows.
You'll find this destroys a narcissist when people start clocking what's happening, and start purposely starving them of that validation. Rather than applaud, people will probably roll their eyes and drift away, because they don't buy it any more and are quite frankly sick of the entitlement.
I had a client tell me her ex would fish for compliments at every dinner party, and eventually their friends stopped inviting them. He blamed her, of course.
It's a supply that dries up and means the narcissist has nothing. What a kick to their already delicate self-worth.
2 Accountability brings them out in hives
Yes, trust me. A narcissist can almost be allergic to accountability, it's the one thing they won't be able to deal with.
If you were to ask a narcissist what happened, what went wrong, how did it get like this, you'll see them immediately turn to you and tell you that it's all because of you.
The blame game is strong, and I think that's because no narcissist wants to honestly evaluate a situation and say, "Yeah, you know what? That was me, and I am really sorry about it."
You'll instead be victim to:
If you hadn't pushed me, I wouldn't have snapped. I did it because you did this first. Everyone else seems to think I handled it okay. It seems you're the odd one out.
Blame shifting is classic; it shows a lack of care about how you look, mixed with an obsessive need to look, be, and appear right. It's how a narcissist survives, but eventually, people suss them out. They can't always be wrong, can they?
The narcissist seems to be the only one who gets away with it, and who has that excuse that leaves them escaping blame for yet another episode.
See also 5 Creepy Things Every Narcissist Hides Somewhere in Their HouseI had a client whose ex actually said, "I only cheated because you stopped making me feel wanted." Read that sentence again and try not to laugh, or cry.
People leave. They get sick and tired of it. They don't want to be a part of it because they see there's no point. I was wrong.
That's all it takes, but it's the last thing you'll get, and in the end, all it does is push everyone away until there's nobody left.
3 They fear being exposed for who they really are
Nothing puts the fear of God in a narcissist quite like you exposing them, or figuring out who they really are under the mask. A narcissist spends their entire life building a life that is a version of themselves they believe is real.
They put it out there into the world, expecting flocks of people to come to them, believing this version to be real. They're perfect, and they have the perfect life.
Cross them once and you'll hear, "You don't know me at all," which is hilarious because knowing them is exactly the thing they're panicking about.
When you dig deep and see the narcissist for who they truly are, you're exposing those many imperfections. Suddenly, that charm is obviously fake, as is their success, and they hate being outed for not being who they tried so hard to pretend to be.
It's your fault for their lying. Doesn't make sense, does it? Ultimately, the reason they always become so lonely is because they refuse to just be like everyone else.
We're all made up of flaws and traits that don't equate to perfection, and we're okay with that, in fact, we largely celebrate it. A narcissist doesn't know how to do that, and so you exposing them leaves them looking weak in itself.
4 They cannot, no matter what, regulate their emotions
I have known of narcissists have cannot regulate their emotions so severely that they end up pushing everyone, and I mean everyone, they know away from them.
For you or I, all emotions exist the same as they would for anyone, and I don't believe there's such a thing as a bad or negative emotion. It's all in the way you handle them, and deal with them, and exude them that counts.
For example, yes, you can feel envious that someone you know is going on that trip of a lifetime, while this year finance may have been tough for you, so you may have just escaped to the city for a night or two, if at all.
It's okay to think, "Ah man, I wish that were me; I'm so jealous." It kind of stops and ends there though, right? A narcissist will rage about something like that.
They will obsess over that person's vacation photos, stop talking to them, spread lies or rumors about how they're earning their money dishonestly, or other words to that effect. They could even take their jealousy out on you.
It's the same with sadness, or anger, or fear; they all come out in ways they shouldn't, and other people bear the brunt. That's why narcissists nearly always end up alone, but they will not admit they have a problem.
And when you point it out? Watch out. You'll get the classic, "I'm not angry, YOU'RE the one making me act this way." Every single time.
5 They dread you doing well, and the more successful you are, the less they like themselves
The best revenge to take on a narcissist is success. You can literally do anything to get at them, but nothing hits quite as hard and painfully as you doing well, achieving something huge, or simply being noticed in your life for good things you do.
A narcissist wants to be the center of attention all the time, and if anything good is happening, they want it to be about them. If you take that away from them, you're an immediate threat. You're telling the world, "I can do something the narcissist isn't currently doing."
This works in every narcissistic dynamic, but is particularly potent with siblings, when a victim decides to leave the narcissist in their life, or parent and child dynamics. If you're doing well without them, or succeeding without their input, you're proving you don't need them.
And that's the wound they can't stitch up. Every promotion, every new friend, every good hair day of yours becomes proof that they weren't the source of anything good.
I don't think any of us need a narcissist!
6 Loneliness Is Their Silent Killer
Look at any narcissist closely, and you'll see someone who cannot stand their own company. That silence around them? It eats at them.
They fill their days with noise. Meetings, drama, new people to charm, old people to torment. Anything to keep the quiet at bay.
Because when the room finally empties and the phone stops buzzing, they have to sit with themselves, and that's the last person they want to be alone with.
And why is loneliness so damaging for them? Because they've spent a lifetime burning bridges. Every person they used, discarded, smeared, or manipulated is one less person who'd pick up the phone in a crisis. Over time, that list gets shorter and shorter.
They might have a full contact list and an empty life. Nobody genuinely close. Nobody they can be real with, because being real is something they never learned how to do.
So they age with this quiet dread creeping in. The parties get smaller, the invitations dry up, and the mirror stops flattering them.
Loneliness does its slow work.
7 They Cannot Handle Getting Older
Getting older is a nightmare for a narcissist. Watching the mirror change, seeing the lines set in, noticing that people don't turn their heads the way they used to. It eats at them.
Their whole identity is built on being admired. On being the shiny one in the room. When time starts chipping away at that, they don't age gracefully. They panic.
You'll see it in strange places. Sudden obsession with appearance. Weird competitiveness with younger people. Bitterness towards anyone who's doing well. A refusal to acknowledge birthdays or milestones. And underneath all of that, real dread.
Because aging forces them to face the one thing they've been running from their whole lives, which is themselves. The quiet. The reflection. The question of what they've actually built beyond appearances.
Most of us find something warm in getting older. Perspective. Peace. People who love us. The narcissist looks at the same road and sees a slow reveal of everything they lack. And that, quietly, is what finishes them.
