While getting older can be tricky for a lot of people, aging often comes with a certain softening to characters. People mellow, and accept that life’s limits are changing and shifting. Letting go of some things then, seems inevitable and necessary.
This is the kind of memo that no narcissist will get.
For every narcissist, watching the years tick by is painful, and those years bring no wisdom or peace. Everything they built their identity on crumbles, and I wanted to show you how these 3 devastating truths they have to face means they can no longer avoid what they spent their toxic lives running from.
1Everybody was here, now they're gone
For the narcissist’s entire life, they had people around them. In a way, I’d say they acted as a special kind of audience the narcissist wanted to make sure was constantly locked into them.
This circle was essential for the survival of the narcissist’s ego; they always need people who are paying them attention and reminding them how special (try not to vomit…) they are.
A narcissist needs to be and feel:
Interesting. Life must always be full of exciting things that they’re a part of. Successful. Work, relationships, finances, assets; everything has to look as though it’s all falling into place rather sweetly. As though they have stories ready at the drop of a hat. “I remember the time I…” “That happened to me once when…” “I once did that, and I…” Like they have a strong source of supply. They need it from all angles. Reactions, tears, drama, attention, praise, compliments; as long as it’s pouring their way, they’re happy.
Narcissists make sure their lives are so full of all the above that they never have to sit in the painful, disturbing silence that comes when it all stops. They cannot bear the thought, and so they keep busy, connected, and entangled in the lives of everyone they know.
Then, guess what? Yep. Age happens. They get older.
See also11 Reasons to Keep a Narcissistic Grandparent Away From Your Kids
People grow apart, kids get older and live their own lives, work dries up, friends drift, partners have enough and decide to leave, and distance is created.
Who is there now?
Nobody.
It’s just the narcissist, with the stage left and nobody to perform to.
Think about the last time the narcissist you know stood in a room with nobody to perform to, only equating that now to their entire life, because eventually that’s what’s happening here.
See also5 Creepy Things Every Narcissist Hides Somewhere in Their House
There’s nothing but buried bridges and a person with bitterness seeping out of their pores.
That is what aging does to a narcissist.
The room is empty, and there is no queue of people outside waiting to fill the room (their life) back up.
2The body shows them that aging is taking place
You all know what it’s like for a narcissist to be a narcissist. It has everything to do with image, and that image is an obsession of theirs they’ll never admit to having.
What do I mean by image? Well, let’s take a look at some examples:
Physical attractiveness. How do they physically present? How do they dress, or treat their body? What do they do to be the best physical version of themselves they can? Sharpness of their mind. How do narcissists respond to compliments or criticisms? Are they witty? Do they deliver lines that are clever? Are they on the ball at work? Status. Are they the boss at work? Who do they know? What circles do they move in? Where do they live and shop? Energy. Are they hitting the gym obsessively, or running their favorite hiking trail? Are they constantly showing off on social media?
See also11 Tiny Boundaries That Make The Narcissist Completely Lose It
The image put out there has everything to do with who the narcissist is. They’re building a character they want everyone else to believe and buy, but age comes along, and knocks all their dreams right out of the park.
Trouble really hits them when they start to realize they can’t blame their bad knee or diagnosis on anyone. They can’t tell people how mad they are at their sister or father or daughter because they are feeling the usual aging aches and pains when they get out of bed each morning.
On top of that, their memory starts to be less razor sharp, and more clouded. This is a natural part of aging for us all, but a narcissist takes it all personally, and struggles knowing that they’re growing out of the younger person they relied on for all those years.
So what happens next? Well, as told by a client of mine, the aging narcissist keeps pushing:
“My narcissistic father wouldn't stop talking about his youth and how good he was at sports. He would become obsessed with trying to stay relevant, and even though he was clocking up the years, he denied his older age in a way that made him look like he denied aging altogether. He was desperate, and it was clearly affecting him.”
“I’ve achieved more than most people could ever dream of!” “I’m sharper than people a fraction of my age, you know.”
Who are these people kidding?
They just cannot stop talking about it, which usually means there is fear in their eyes they’re no longer able to hide.
3Regrets the narcissist tries to hide and never admit
I think to a point, everyone has regrets in life, but most of us just let them go because, what can we do about the past? Nothing!
Underneath the bravado of a narcissist lies someone who has spent all their time using people. They’re pawns in the narcissist’s game, and the narcissist will shuffle them around the board as and when it suits them.
They’ve had to tolerate fallouts, children who don’t keep in touch, ex partners who want nothing to do with them, siblings who don’t care to call.
See alsoWhy Narcissists Are Obsessed With Their Ex
At some stage, the narcissist needs to see that the quiet of their life is down to the bridges they burned along their way. When nobody comes to visit when it matters, the narcissist does regret.
The problem is the narcissist refuses to name that regret, and will keep responsibility at bay by cranking up their bitterness and continuing to blame everyone else on the surface.
They’re not capable of holding their hands up and saying, “I caused all of this.”
It will, even in older age, be someone else’s problem.
A pleasure to witness? I'd say so
When you see a narcissist who is faced with age and who can no longer sway sweetly through life, it's bound to be satisfying.
For you, you're seeing an egotistical empire like no other start to not just crumble, but fall apart completely.
See alsoTHIS is What Makes Narcissists
This is the kind of situation that involves you having patience; no Karma that you want to see will happen quickly.
These people avoid facing three huge things that come in thick and fast, whether they like it or not.
For you, it's like watching the best movie ever written. As you age with grace, the narcissist you know ages with a far more painful view of their world:
They can no longer hide from certain truths.
