You think it's impossible, and over time you've probably been programmed to believe the narcissist is untouchable, but I want to let you into a little secret today…
…Nothing is impossible.
You are more than capable of outsmarting the narcissist, even if you feel weak to that belief.
The trick is to tap into their minds and understand what they're really trying to achieve.
Get to know their games, and you can then jump two steps ahead of them at all times.
When you can use your own mind against the narcissist, you can definitely outsmart them using these 3 approaches.
#1 Always starve your supply
How many of you really know what narcissistic supply is? Have you heard of it? Maybe I can help.
How many times has the narcissist seen you cry? What about all those times you've defended yourself, or yelled in anger, or yelled? When have you begged them, or apologized, even when you've done nothing wrong?
Suddenly, being a source of narcissistic supply becomes much clearer when you can see just how much you offer them on a day to day basis.
The narcissist has you right where they want you, and all you can see from it is that you've tried your best to handle every situation you've been dealt as best as you can.
Over time though, that's looked a lot like giving the narcissist exactly what they want.
Seeing you cry makes them feel happy. Seeing you beg for everything to be okay hands them the reins and lets them control what happens next.
Hearing you say you're sorry, even though you're apologizing for an emotion you're entitled to feel is music to the narcissist's ears.
You're saying sorry because you were made to feel your emotions were wrong. You feel guilty for upsetting them.
Every single time you feel bad about yourself, the narcissist feels good about themselves.
They know they've worked their magic and sourced your supply, and the more these dynamics work that way, the more supply the narcissist receives.
So starve them. Cut it. Not just a little bit, but cut it entirely. Turn what would be supply for them, into energy for yourself.
What happens to the kind of person who can't create and manifest their own happiness? They steal yours.
What happens if they can't steal yours? They go crazy and you have successfully outsmarted them.
Does it feel good to know that you actually have the ability to control the dynamics more than you could ever think possible?
This isn't about being cold or rude, it's about preventing them from taking what's rightly yours. If you can't be moved by them, they will run out of supply pretty quickly.
If so, I ask you, take those reins. Use their own mind against them, and see what they do before they've even had a chance to do it.
Only then can you start to pour that time and effort back into yourself again.
That is long overdue.
#2 Instead of telling on them, let them do it to themselves
We all know narcissists love to talk about themselves.
As often as they can, they will dominate conversations to make sure everybody is listening to a story, an anecdote, or something equally uninteresting that they're forcing upon the ears of others.
Quite a lot of the time, that might become tiresome for you to tolerate, but have you ever thought that their talking can inevitably be their eventual downfall?
It's a little bit like the trash taking itself out, and you don't even have to do anything to allow it to happen naturally.
When a narcissist is talking, they're assuming everybody is interested in what they have to say.
They go on and on, revealing not just words, but actions, behaviors, body language along with it. There will be a time they fall down.
This is especially satisfying when they're around those who have defended them.
One minute everything's fine, the next, the narcissist has said or done something wrong, inappropriate, unwind, cruel or even just shocking that turns heads.
At times, you do have to let it happen. They are their own downfall, and you can outsmart them by letting them walk into their own chaos they created.
It's a pretty fun moment to witness, I can promise you that.
#3 Move the heart and soul of your life to another place they can't get to
I don't necessarily mean pack up and go, although if that's what you want to do, I'll be rooting for you!
I mean something a little more inward. You can move a million miles away from the narcissist, but until you've re-centered your life to revolve around you, then nothing will change.
Your heart always belonged to you, and so did all your goals, your dreams, and your passions.
The only reason they feel so far away is because they were stolen by a person who had no business taking them.
It's time you moved what matters to you, to another place they can't reach.
Yes, that means applying boundaries, prioritizing yourself, and doing all the other things you might think are uncomfortable.
They're essential if you want a future you can be kind to yourself in.
If you want to grow and heal, you must grace yourself with the space needed to separate their demands of you with what you truly want from life.
Trust me; you only get one.
Outsmarting a narcissist means you have to get into their heads and understand what they're trying to do.
If you can work to reverse it by putting yourself first for once, then that's exactly the road you should take.
Nobody else will do it for you.
#4 When outsmarting a narcissist causes you to win
Ultimately, that's what every person wants, right? You want to win against the narcissist.
You don't want to be cruel or evil like them, but you want to feel as though you've done something that makes you feel as though the control has landed back at your feet.
When you outsmart a narcissist, you're letting them know without saying those words that you choose you.
You're choosing a life where you matter, and where you no longer sit back and watch your identity erode to nothing.
That's what the narcissist will do if they keep getting their way.
You mean nothing to them except when you have something to offer.
This is not about love, but about how much they can gain from having you in their life.
It's always what they want. It's always what they demand. You? You have to follow the rules and act and do as you're told. And guess what? Somehow, it's still wrong. It's still not enough.
It's time that changed. Outsmarting them by using their own mind against them proves that you'vel learned so much about narcissistic abuse, and some of it can come in useful!
I'd say that was the kind of situation where you have got the upper hand, and when you do, do not let go of it.
