Narcissists walk around like they were the ones who theorized and conceptualized confidence…
They wish! No matter what goes through their egotistical minds; they are not the brightest, most intelligent person in the world. You are not lucky to know them.
I had a client tell me once that her ex genuinely believed he was smarter than his doctor, his lawyer, and every professor he ever had. Every single one.
They're all pretty dumb actually, beyond their silly games. If you want to know how dumb they can get, I want you to look out for these 6 things that expose them every single time.
1 Lies, oops, lies
A truly brilliant liar will never have to remember their lies, or try to keep up with the inaccuracies they speak to people. They'd keep track, and they'd do a really good job of it, too.
A narcissist will lie so often that they can actually be very careless about what they say. They love to just say whatever they want, whenever they want, and they think nothing more of it. Until the next time they need to remember it, that is.
It's only then they start to inwardly panic, wondering what they spoke the first time round, and if they can remember it exactly. Will their stories match up? Last Tuesday, they told you something, and then they bumped into your friend or relative and told them something totally different.
By the time the weekend rolled around, they'd forgotten both versions and made up yet another to pacify people. Only that doesn't work, does it? I never said that. That's not what happened. I don't recall bumping into them. Are you sure you've got that right? They're careless people!
There's no strategy involved here; just a person who is unable to keep up with their own story they're trying to pump out into the world. If a narcissist was genuinely smart, they would at least be consistent.
It's as if they're choosing to wing it every single time and hope for the best.
And when you catch them out, they double down. "You're remembering it wrong." "That's not what I said." Anything to avoid admitting they can't keep their own script straight.
2 Reading a room? Forget it!
No narcissist is ever going to be good at reading a room, I don't care who argues with me about it.
You'd think someone so obsessed with how other people perceive them would want to have some idea how it works being in a room full of people and potentially being judged or looked upon during that time, wouldn't you? Not a narcissist.
They're actually so focused on how they're performing to the person they're speaking to, they don't consider what someone from across the room is viewing and seeing for themselves. They miss it all, and that's pretty dumb of them if I can be totally honest with you.
They walk right into conversations that have nothing to do with them, trying to take over and take control of the narrative.
They try to bring each conversation back to themselves so they can discuss their favorite subject, and they brag to anyone and everyone, including those who are secretly unimpressed. These people have no idea what they're walking into, yet they do it all the time.
It's as if everyone in the room knows the score except the narcissist, who just blindly carries on as if they're the best thing ever. That's not a way to exude charisma of any kind.
In fact, it shows a person is so blissfully unaware that they've no idea how embarrassing they are appearing. Sure, they're dressed so nicely, but that means nothing, not really.
See also 7 Weaknesses Every Narcissist Has That Will Destroy Them In The EndIf they really had a clue, they'd be able to gauge all those tired, weary faces who are being forced yet again to listen to their self-involved stories.
You can spot it in the eye rolls, the phones sliding out of pockets, the sudden urge everyone has to go top up their drink. Everyone sees it. Except them.
3 A narcissist is always overplaying and falling short
If you're smart by nature, you automatically know when to hold back and when to fully let go. Restraint is a power move, and that has nothing to do with manipulation, it just makes sense.
I'd never jump into a conversation with strangers and brag about my life because I know it'd be far too forward and egotistical of me. I'd enter the situation with more subtlety. I'd listen and nod, and talk a little, and get to know people.
A narcissist can't resist jumping into everything while pushing too far, every single time. It's the same when it comes to their small wins; they just become totally insufferable about anything they complete or achieve, as if the world should stop because of it.
They never see other peoples' reactions coming because they're far too self-involved. They see themselves as being, "The more I put out there, the more results I will get."
That's such a wrong way to be, and you and I know that. This is precisely why people eventually leave. The narcissist is just too much and people get sick of it and want space.
They can't stand to just keep being pulled into these high energy cycles when they want to merely live a normal life.
One woman told me her ex would announce every gym session like it was breaking news. She said after a while, she just stopped looking up from her phone.
A narcissist will always be dumb enough to dig their own holes and then stand in them with a look of confusion on their face, asking themselves how they managed to get there.
It's just what they do, and with that comes the inevitable blaming of everyone else for when people leave. I don't know what happened. People just seem to be too self-involved. They only care about themselves. I give up with people; they're all the same. No.
Those people tolerated you, the narcissist for far too long, and now they decided the best course of action is to walk away. Good for them.
4 They assume everyone else is the dumb one
The classic, "It's everyone else and not me," without considering that they in fact, are the common denominator in all of this. Narcissists are not clever people deep down.
They may try to play the clever game, but between them all, they don't have a dozen brain cells to rub together. It's almost funny when you think about it, but it's too exhausting to be fully humorous.
Narcissists all believe they are genuinely surrounded by people who are less intelligent than them. They get so annoyed when someone tries to figure them out, because deep down they just don't like the idea of that happening at all.
You can almost see the panic flicker across their face when you ask the wrong question. They cover fast, but the crack is there.
In their head, you were nowhere near capable of such a thing. Being the least self-aware person in any room, the narcissist will act like they know it all, all of the time.
In fact, the way they manage trying to be smart usually takes up so much of their energy, they completely miss the fact that they are not.
When you stop being impressed by all the important people they know, or their high-flying job that's actually pretty average, the narcissist will fall to pieces. It's pretty dumb in my eyes to act so sure of yourself, yet have a character that leaves so much intelligence falling short.
Why bother? It's because they want to be brilliant so badly, but they know they'll never make the cut. What happens? They improvise in any way they can. And instead of meeting their own expectations, they continue to fall short…
…Much to their own dissatisfaction!
5 Their tech skills? A whole other level of clueless
Oh, this one is a gift. Watch a narcissist try to reset a router, or figure out why the printer won't connect, and the whole "I'm smarter than everyone" act evaporates in about ninety seconds.
Suddenly it's your fault. The wifi is your fault. The email that "won't send" is your fault. The password they set themselves and cannot now remember? Also, somehow, your fault.
I've watched grown adults blame their partner for a software update. And why? Because admitting they don't understand something makes them feel small, and small is the one thing they cannot tolerate.
They'll refuse to read the instructions. They'll refuse to Google it. They'll definitely refuse to ask a teenager, because that would mean a fifteen year old knows more than they do, and that's a psychological earthquake they aren't prepared for.
So they just get angry at the machine. Angry at you. Angry at the concept of technology existing.
And the smartest person in the room is sitting there yelling at a laptop that hasn't done anything wrong.
6 Bad decisions, on repeat
You'd think a person who believes they're brilliant would eventually learn from their mistakes. Nope. The narcissist makes the same bad calls over and over, and somehow acts shocked each time it blows up in their face.
They quit the job in a huff, then can't understand why the next one is worse. They burn a friendship, then wonder why nobody trusts them. They pick the same type of person, treat them the same way, and get the same ending. Then blame the person.
I had someone tell me once that her ex had been through four "identical" breakups before her, and still insisted every single one of those women was crazy. Four. And he genuinely could not see the pattern.
That's the thing about being convinced you're smart. You stop examining yourself. Why would you? You've already decided you're the sharpest one in the room, so the problem must be everybody else, every time.
Real intelligence includes noticing when you keep landing in the same ditch. They never notice. They just keep digging.
