You might be thinking, "A narcissist? Humiliated?" I know the concept seems far out if you've yet to see that side of them, but trust me, it exists, and it can be the most devastating feeling for people who are usually so entitled.
I'd go as far to say that these 4 humiliations are never forgotten by the narcissist, and they will carry them throughout the rest of their lives.
Any excuse to remind the world that they were so hard done by, and they will jump at the chance.
#1 That time they were exposed and called out in front of others
First up, we have that incredible moment the narcissist was called out in front of everybody else. Maybe it was only a few people; the amount really doesn't matter as long as it happened.
If you weren't there, I'll let you know exactly what went down.
The narcissist was acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. They were demanding, yelling, or accusing. They wanted their voice to be the loudest of all, and everybody had to stop in their tracks to listen. It was a moment they lost control.
Then there's the scenario where the narcissist tried to fool somebody, only it didn't work because of some kind of fact or consequence they were unaware of.
Whatever was exposed, was the true character of the narcissist. They, for some reason, allowed their mask to slip and all that toxicity spilled over.
What happened next can be pinned down as one of the four main humiliations a narcissist will ever experience. Why? Because you can't rewind time. As soon as somebody sees the real person behind all that charm, there's no going back from it.
The narcissist has lost control of the narrative and image they've worked so hard to maintain for their whole lives. In an instant, it all came crashing down, and from now on, there's no being able to pretend.
It's never forgotten due to the huge embarrassment this causes the narcissist. They're pained by the reality of not looking perfect to everybody, and that's a very difficult thing to deal with.
#2 The time somebody walked away, and never returned
What I'm talking about is the worst nightmare of a narcissist.
Abandonment.
It seems pretty rich, doesn't it? Almost the idea of, "I can abandon you if I want, but you can never leave me."
It comes from a deep wound and fear that they aren't good enough, and it's actually a true belief of all narcissists. The difference is, they refuse to admit it, and disguise it with ego and entitlement instead, so nobody suspects this 'weakness' about them.
When somebody in their past is known to be that person who has walked away, the narcissist will never forget it. In fact, it'll go down in history as a humiliation that stays with them forever, and that's because of the wound the walking away exposed.
The image that a narcissist portrays; the belief that they're unbreakable, and nothing and nobody is important enough to them to affect their life detrimentally, shatters in an instant.
They're suddenly catapulted back to a time where they remember what it was like to be neglected, perhaps by a parent.
It made them feel not good enough, and it was a feeling that they buried deep, until somebody came along and dug it up for them all over again.
The pain returned. The hurt surfaced. The emotions of self-loathing could no longer be disguised by money and material objects.
This person didn't return, and now it's all the narcissist can think about.
How could anybody do this to me? How dare they treat me this way?
That anger is displayed, yet hides a vulnerability the narcissist doesn't want to admit exists, because it's seen as a version of weakness, of imperfection.
#3 That moment somebody outgrew them
When somebody outgrows a narcissist, there's so much to unpack, and it starts with why this is such a humiliation for them.
For starters, you're talking about a person who knows and sees the narcissist, yet continues to grow anyway. Already, this is something that a narcissist won't like to see, because their idea of success is to stunt growth in others and control.
When that isn't possible, a person will grow regardless. They will continue to live their life largely unaffected by the advances and abuse of the narcissist.
Games won't work, and tactics will fail, too. What's left is a narcissist with a sore ego, who knows they're unable to shift the mindset and mentality of somebody they'd hoped to manipulate.
This leaves so many questions for them that will remain unanswered:
Why didn't my usual tactics work? What did I do wrong? Why aren't they falling for these tricks?
It's a real shatter to their belief that they should always be admired and proven to be right, yet some people out there just don't buy into the charm.
Either they've fallen for it before and been bitten by the abuse, or they're just too sure of who they are that their character is solid and sure of itself.
Either way, it's a humiliation never to be forgotten by the narcissist, who is left reeling from the reality that not everybody is down to play the role of puppet.
And perhaps it can also mean a victim turns into a thriving survivor who no longer wants to play the game the narcissist pulled them into.
I've outgrown you.
That's got to hurt, hasn't it?
#4 The time they were told no, and it was meant
No is the whole sentence you didn't know you needed in your life.
It's the reason why so many people retain such strong boundaries, and you don't even have to be rude when you speak the word. It can just be a strong, determined and resilient no.
It is hard to build up healthy boundaries, especially when you've been under the control of a narcissist for so long. Some people have no problem, though, and will say no like it rolls off their tongue like hot butter on a knife.
No.
Ouch.
The narcissist steps back, observing the 'audacity' of the person who defied them in such an unbothered manner.
It wasn't a weak no, it was a no that had a backbone. Right there and then, the narcissist knew they were fighting a battle that they knew they were never going to win.
Ticket for one to the town of Humiliation, no return.
That's how it feels to be a narcissist, and always assume that you will get your own way.
Perhaps you do, and have done for a long time. The shock of then having somebody come along and say no won't be a moment that's easily forgotten, and this is precisely why it made it on to my list today.
I don't think any narcissist is a fan of the word. Sure, they like to say it, but they hate to be told it.
It means they lose that little bit more control than they thought they had.
I, for one, am a fan of anybody who humiliates a narcissist.
